9 months down, 3 left to go!

September was quite the whirlwind for me, and I can't believe how quickly it flew by. Shoot - we're already halfway through October for cryin' out loud! I know I keep saying it, but this year has been pretty darn amazing. I feel like I've learned SO MUCH, and I just want to keep on learning. 

This was my first month officially on-my-own with my freelance career, and I'm loving it. I work longer hours on the days when I have time, and take a little more time off on other days (when I can). I truly enjoy what I'm doing now too - I love my co-workers at the cafe (where I work part-time), and the constant socialization. I really enjoy the freelance work as well, since all of my projects have allowed me to be creative. I realize now that's something I've been craving in my work for a long time. 

My beautiful friends at the cafe! From left to right: Jeana, Mona, and Sienna. Not pictured: Ian and Wolfgang (those crazy boys). Latte art by Ian!

Summer seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye, and now fall (my favorite season) is beginning. The days are getting shorter, and I enjoy feeling the brisk air on my face as I bike to my cafe job in the mornings. It's a lovely change, and I look forward to what the new season will bring.

I have been thinking about what I've learned this month without having alcohol in my life:

I'm more hydrated.

This may seem obvious, but it's something I forget about all the time! Since I'm not drinking booze, I'm drinking either water or a fizzy water-based drink. All hydration, all the time!

I'm ready to start drinking again. 

I know I've come so far this year, and I'm so happy about the changes that have come from abstaining from alcohol. But I'm looking forward to having a drink again. I certainly don't plan to go crazy on January 1st, 2016 - but I look forward to having wine with dinner, or toasting a locally-brewed beer with friends. I hope that this year will make it easier for me to take time off from drinking in the future, and help me with moderation. 

I feel all the things, still mess up (even without alcohol), and that's okay. 

There was a point in this journey where I naively thought I could never do wrong, as long as alcohol was no longer clouding my judgement. But it just ain't true. I still screw up, and I still get frustrated about certain decisions I make in my life. I text people I shouldn't when I'm feeling blue (although I'm better at resisting), and I make some silly decisions when out partying late at night. 

Cutting out the alcohol doesn't guarantee that we'll make the best decisions in our lives. Some desires are still there, and I feel strong emotions. If anything, I probably feel everything more than I did before, and with greater clarity. My next step is to be forgiving of those choices. I won't always do the "right" thing all the time. There will always be those moments when I go with my heart rather than my head, even when it's probably best to listen to the latter. With or without alcohol - I am who I am: an emotional being with a constant jumble of emotions, and a big fucking sugar-coated daydreaming heart. And you know what? I'm okay with that. In fact, I am pretty sure I've reached the point in my life where I can love myself for that. And that's pretty damn awesome. 

Part of me is holding back. 

There's a reason why booze is called "liquid courage" - it takes away the voice of reason and replaces it with "I can and should do anything I want, right now!" As I mentioned above, it's still possible to make those carefree decisions without booze. But there's a bigger urge that holds me back. Lately I've been asking myself: are there things I wanted to say this year that I didn't say because I was never drunk? 

Think about those times when you're with your friends and you drunkenly tell them how much you love them. That guy you've always liked? You confess that you have feelings for him. You tell the world that you feel ALL THE THINGS and that they should feel them with you. I believe that when a little tipsy, we become a more honest version of ourselves. So there is a part of me that wonders if I've been holding back a bit, and I'm pretty sure that I have. I don't think it's a bad thing, but it's certainly interesting to think about.

---

I hope you'll consider joining me in my last (less than) 3 months left of sobriety! Click here to sign up for my No Drinking Challenge, and let's toast on New Year's Eve! 

Money saved in 9 months: Approximately $2,056.00

Weight: Not a clue. But I did put on a size 4 pant the other day, which made my jaw drop. That could be from all the biking to/from work though. :)

How I feel: Contemplative. Content. Blissful. Fulfilled. Happy, happy, happy.

My No Drinking Challenge!

As you've noticed, I've learned a lot in my year without alcohol. 

Feel like you need a change too? Give it a shot! (No pun intended.)

You don't have to toss the hooch for an entire year like I did, but there are plenty of reasons to give up alcohol for a little while. Here are some of my favorites: 

• You'll save money. 
• You won't drunk-text people. 
• Your health will improve. 
• You may find it easier to sleep at night, or wake up in the morning. 
• You won't have to worry about getting home safely at night. 
• You'll be able to hold conversations at parties much more easily. 
• You won't slosh your drink on the dance floor. 
• You'll have more energy. 
• You may find more interesting ways to spend your time.
• You won't have hangovers.

Whether you're getting off the sauce for a week, a month, three months, a year, or forever, sign your pledge in the comments below! Write how long you're going to give it up, and your reasons for doing so. It'll help hold you accountable in reaching your goals, and the online community can help provide support! 

Even better, post your progress and results on my Facebook Fan Page! 

Best of luck! 

Trying not to judge...

I've recently started a new job at a shared workspace in downtown Denver. A lot of start-ups collaborate there, bring in their adorable dogs, and have meetings while sitting on couches from Ikea. I however, am not a part of a design firm, or hip new software company. I work part time making sandwiches and coffee drinks at the on-site cafe. 

I actually kind of love it! The people I work with are great, and so easygoing. The people I meet and serve every day are around my age, and always up for some chit-chat before returning to their desks. I love that I can commute by bike (that makes me SO happy), and the stress of the job is pretty low. Surprisingly my pay is comparable to what I made at my last corporate job, and although it's less hours I've already made some contacts networking for freelance jobs with some of our customers.  I also have found that I truly enjoy making pretty sandwiches and salads for people! 

I have also noticed that there are a number of attractive young men that work in this office building. They're all very stylish, well-spoken, smart, and interesting. And yet, I wonder: 

Now that I'm the person that serves them, do they see me differently?

Maybe in an office setting or at a popular post-work happy hour spot, they would look at me as an equal. They'd see that I'm dressed in a similar fashion, and that I'm bright and interesting too. But their first impression of me is while I'm waiting on them, and doing a job that could be considered more low class. Their initial reaction could be to think that I'm uneducated, or that there's something wrong with me for not being able to get a "better" job than service industry. They may think that I've been fired a lot. They may think that I can't take care of myself. If these guys got to know me, they'd see that I made this choice on purpose, and that I'm more happy now than I've been in a long time. 

Obviously I'm making judgments about them judging me, and I know that. But it's not TOO far of a stretch to believe that we place judgement on people based on their jobs. 

A funny thing happened the other day, just as I was thinking about all of this. I went to drop off some dishes to the dishwasher that works for us, and when I was handing him the plates I realized he was very attractive. I immediately thought: But he's just a dishwasher!

I couldn't believe it!! I was making the same judgement about HIM that I thought the guys at the office building were making about ME. It was an automatic reaction, and it saddened me. For all I know, he could have been a former CEO that realized he hated the stress, loved doing a mindless job where he could rock out to music and forget about when he got home. He could be washing dishes to pay his way through school. He could be doing it simply because it pays the bills, and he finds his passions elsewhere. He could also be lazy or unmotivated - of course it swings both ways. Whatever the reason, I should not have judged him. 

The truth is, it's hard to not judge someone when you first meet them.

This video is more about judging a woman for her looks, but it is a similar concept. I just love the clip!

We all judge. It's practically impossible not to. For some reason, we've been hard-wired to start forming opinions about people the moment we see them. I'm sure it was initially for survival reasons, but times have changed. Social circumstances are different than they used to be. People are working different kinds of jobs, and have the ability to choose their careers and the paths they take in their lives. It's a different world. 

I have always disliked that question you get soon after meeting someone: "What do you do?" - which usually translates to: "So what do you do for money?" I've recently changed it to asking: "What makes you happy?" or "What do you do in your free time?" or if I do ask "What do you do for work?" I immediately ask "Does it make you happy?" or "Do you like what you do?" It may put them on the spot, but it makes for some interesting conversation. It also opens the door for them to talk about their true passions in life, or maybe even question themselves.

This also helps clear away any initial judgments we may have made about each other, and opens up the opportunity to truly get to know another person. 

I'm going to work harder to get to know people first, and be aware of judgments when they sneak up. I want to talk to people, and understand why they do what they do, and who they really are. Another lesson learned!

Making / Forcing / Letting

I came to some realizations over the weekend that I wanted to share with you:

There are differences between making something happen / forcing it to happen / and letting it happen. 

I will explain: 

Making something happen. 

This scenario is for when an opportunity presents itself, and it's time to grab it. Notice, I didn't say that you created the opportunity yourself (I'll get into that later in "forcing"), but the opportunity arises, and you move forward with putting it to good use. 

This can be used when finding a new job, or a accepting a new position that opens up - or if a friend offers you a concert ticket on a night that you're free, or if someone you're not sure about just yet asks you on a date and you say "yes". You're seeing an opportunity, not sure what the future will bring, but not shying away from it or making an excuse. You're embracing the challenge or experience, and making it a part of your life. 

Forcing something to happen. 

This is when you have to take charge. You need to make a decision to get out of a bad situation, or to open up your time to make something better happen down the road. 

This decision can be helpful when making career changes, or with leaving toxic relationships. It should not be used to try and force a relationship to happen, or to initiate change when it's not ready to happen. Yes, change and growth is important - but it's up to you to asses when it's appropriate to force the change, and when you need to step back and accept that it could simply not be the right time. Take a moment to reflect on the situation and ask yourself, "Why am I trying so hard to force this to happen? Is it truly benefiting me, or distracting me from my other goals?"

Making something happen is different, as you seize the opportunity to walk a path that has already been laid - not cutting down trees to forage your own path. There's a difference between making additional and possibly unnecessary work for yourself (forcing), and taking a turn down a path less traveled (making). 

Letting it happen.

This is the most passive choice of the three, but also a very important one. This also involves not forcing a change, but choosing to go with the flow and let chance take over. Sometimes just choosing to live your life in a way that makes you happy and not worrying about pushing any results can bring fulfillment that you didn't expect. 

Whether you have to make it happen, force it to happen, or simply sit back and let it happen - understanding your motivation is the first step. 

Small Steps

There are many times people think about what they want to do with their lives, and see the change as something impossible. They see the mountain in front of them, understand how long it will take to get to the top, and get so discouraged that they don't even get started. 

Although it'd be lovely to be able to just leap to the top like Superman, climbing to the top of that mountain takes a series of small steps. But first, you have to make the decision to move forward. 

We won't all get to the top our first try, and that's okay. The important part is that we decided to take a step, and then actually did it. The path will still be there tomorrow, when we're ready to give it another shot. 

If you're always looking at the entire mountain, or the ultimate goal you're trying to reach, it will overwhelm you. Instead, look at the small steps you need to take to get there and make attainable goals to work towards reaching each day. Write them down and cross them off as you accomplish them. Then one day, you'll look back and realize you're halfway there. The top is in sight. And soon, you'll be in the home stretch!

Trust me, the view is great from up here! 

What small steps are you taking today to get closer to your goal? 

8 months down - Kayaking and other discoveries!

Oh, man - SO MUCH has happened over the past month!

I never thought that this little change (deciding to not drink alcohol for a year) would make such a big difference in my life. As you probably read in my previous blog post, this month I quit my job to start something new.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been working my booty off on this blog, finding part-time work, and finding writing and social media gigs. Even though this is all very unknown territory, and even though it’s the last thing I think of when I go to bed, and the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning - I’m LOVING IT. Absolutely loving it. 

Sure, I still have doubts. I worry about when I’ll have another check to deposit into my bank account, and I worry about how long I can stretch out my last supply of groceries. But really, it has been worth it. I don’t know how things are working quite yet, but I’m figuring it out. And I’m excited.

The month of August I had another amazing experience: I overcame a HUGE fear of mine. I attended Girls on the Gorge, a 3-day all-girls whitewater kayaking trip in Montana. I did NOT know exactly what “whitewater kayaking” entailed, but I did know about my terrible fear of drowning. I definitely did not know what I was getting into.

Nina and I about to start our 14-hour road trip to Montana! That's the face of a girl who has no idea what she's about to be doing. Nope. No clue at all. 

Here’s pretty much how it went:

Day one.

Chandra, Instructor: “Okay ladies! First thing’s first! We’re going to flip you over, and you’re going to get comfortable with being upside-down underwater while still inside your boat."

Me: “Wait...What?!”

Chandra: “You’ll be fine! I’ll flip you right over again.”

Me: “WHAT!?”

It wasn’t so much the flipping part that scared me - it was the BEING STRAPPED INTO A BOAT UPSIDE DOWN UNDERWATER part that scared me.

After watching everyone go ahead of me, it was finally my turn. I took a deep breath and got flipped. I was back up so fast I barely had time to process the whole thing. But I was alive, and just fine. Then it was time to “wet exit” - getting out of my kayak on my own while underwater. This meant staying calm, pulling my tab, pushing my knees together, and pushing myself out. That’s a lot of steps when you’re hanging upside down while submerged in water.

When the time came, I panicked. I clawed my way out of the boat, bruised my legs, yanked my head above water while taking huge choking breaths of air. I can’t remember the last time I felt that terrified. I don’t know what happened, but all of my drowning fears bubbled their way to the surface as I began to sob with every shaking breath.

As I was standing on the beach dripping in all my gear and trying to slow my heartbeat again, I watched everyone working on their techniques and laughing together. I felt like such a failure. I was furious with myself.

After I calmed down a bit, I thought - I can either let this ruin my weekend, or I can get the hell over it already. Yes, I had a fear. But I had to figure out how to get through it. I realized the only way to get over my fear was to do it my way. With baby steps.

I got back in the water, and was ready to give it another shot. I told Chandra (my ever-patient instructor) that I needed to go slow - take it a step at a time. After a couple practice flips, I was ready to “wet exit”. Amazingly I was able to stay calm, and I totally did it. I DID IT. I got out of my boat just fine. I didn’t panic, I didn’t drown, and I didn’t let my fear take over my life.

It was absolutely thrilling.

Day two.

Empowered with the new-found understanding that it was very unlikely that I would die in my kayak, I was ready to take on our first set of rapids. I was just about to get through a pretty choppy section, when my boat started to tip over. I was out of that thing so fast I don’t even remember being upside down! My confidence only increased.

In a particularly rough part of the river, my friend Nina helped with guiding me through. There were some wave rollers that I somehow plowed right through while Nina helpfully reminded me to “PADDLE! PADDLE! PADDLE!” so that I could keep control of my boat. The waves crashed over my head as I smacked down on the other side (still upright) in a fit of giggles. I couldn’t believe how invigorated I felt!

By the end of the day, I was tearing through the rapids, paddle swinging, smile beaming, and screaming from the top of my lungs: “I’M KAAAAAYAKIIIIIING!!!”

That became my nickname on the trip: Beth “I’m kayaking!” Bogdewiecz.

My spirit animal, Nina, and ME! I'M KAYAKING!

It was awesome. The girls, the river, the yoga, the food, the camping, the sunrises, the shooting stars, the laughing, the hula-hooping, the fear-overcoming. I’ll never forget it.

Our group of amazing girls!

I don’t think alcohol would have made the experience any less amazing, but I’m glad I didn’t have it clouding my experience. I think under different circumstances I would have just ended up on the beach and saying “screw it”, cracking open a beer, and accepting defeat. You can still have a fun weekend just hanging out and drinking the whole time, right? After the satisfaction of overcoming my fear though, I don’t think that would’ve been the case. I’d take that feeling over a weekend of boozing ANY day.

Every month, I learn a little more about who I am and what I’m capable of. Yes, I still could have done all of these things with alcohol in my life. But not having that distraction has opened up a surprising amount of possibilities. It has changed my perspective on things. I don’t think I would have gotten to the point of making other big changes in my life if I hadn’t started with a little one. It’s all about taking those baby steps, right?

Money saved in 8 months: Approximately $1,781.00

Weight: Who cares? I feel great, my clothes fit better, and I’m sleeping like a rock.

How I feel: Happy. Amazing. Excited. Fulfilled. Ready to take on the world!

Don't rain on my parade!

With the changes that have been going on in my life lately, everyone has been incredibly supportive. I feel so lucky and blessed to have people that have reached out saying "I've been there" and "I totally get it!" and "THIS IS SO AWESOME!" - you know who you are, and you guys ROCK. 

It's so nice to have reassurance when you make the decision to transition into a new chapter of life. But not everybody gets that from their loved ones, and no matter how much those gut feelings are tugging them in a different direction the voices that surround them speak louder. They fill them with doubt, and eventually talk them out of it. 

To those people I say: Stand strong! Yes, it's easier said than done. And yes, your friends may be giving some sound advice that really makes sense to you. But do not let them rain on your parade! If you're making a decision that you know is right - that is a way to better yourself, your situation, and that will lead you closer to true happiness - you have to stand your ground. You have to trust that even though those people may think your decision is wrong or irresponsible or stupid that it's not their life. It's yours. And if they truly are good friends, they will love and support you no matter what happens. 

Any opportunity I have for Barbra Streisand to argue a point, I'm going to take it. 

"Don't tell me not to fly
I simply got to
If someone takes a spill
It's me and not you!
Who told you
You're allowed to rain on my parade?
...
I gotta fly once
I gotta try once
Only can die once, right, sir
Oh, life is juicy, juicy and you see
I gotta have my bite, sir!"

Hells yeah, Barbra!! 

It is still important to ask yourself questions about any change your making, such as: 

Will this change the lives of the people around me in a positive way? 
Will my financial situation be stable, at least while I'm figuring everything out? 
Am I doing this for myself, or for someone else? 
Is this a path towards happiness? 
Am I being respectful to others while transitioning into this new life? 

There is a lot to think about with any movement towards growth. If you're anything like me, you already have apprehension swimming in your head. Any little pieces of doubt that your friends may voice, you've probably already thought of it and worried about it. Getting a reminder spoken out loud can shake your confidence, and make you question your path. 

But always remember: this is YOUR PATH. Yes, these people are a part of your journey, but ultimately this life is yours. How do you want to spend it? 
 

Cheers to New Beginnings!

I did something a little crazy / a little scary / a little awesome recently.

Let me back up.

I have been thinking about doing my own thing for a while now. Thoughts of starting my own business, making my own schedule, working hard for something I truly believe in, and building something around my passions and interests. Thoughts of doing something every day that not only gets me excited, but that gets others excited too. 

Recent events at my job caused me to reevaluate my position, and it was enough to push me towards making a big decision. 

Ever since I got into the corporate world (a place where I thought you should be in order to be considered 'successful'), I've been told what time to be there, and what time to leave. Yes, structure is important, but so is my time. There is so much pressure on time spent in the office, versus quality of work completed. If I get done everything I need to get done, I should be able to leave. If I have more work to do, I should be able to stay and work more hours. I shouldn’t have to sit around and waste time in the office - waste the only thing I can never get back (my time) - just to clock that 40 hours in every week.

I went home and thought about it. 

I realized I've been doing the same job over and over again. Hopping from one company to the next, working my way up the ladder into positions where I'm doing similar things, and yet still unhappy. I thought the position I found at my most recent place of work would be my dream job. But it wasn't. 

So when I came into the office the next morning, I quit.

I didn’t just walk out - I gave notice (over 3 weeks). But I didn't have anything else lined up, and I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve always been so responsible - I’ve never put in my notice without having another position ready to transition into. So it may seem a little crazy.

My friend Megan sent me this quote after I quit. I think it sums things up pretty darn well. 

But is it crazy though?

I see crazy as going to a job every day that doesn’t make me happy. I see crazy as watching my talents get wasted away every day just because I get paid to do something else that’s easy. Crazy is spending so much time in the office and on the commute that you miss out on seeing friends and family, or watching your kids grow up. Crazy is being so afraid of failing that you stay in a job you hate for your entire life.

I totally understand that this option may not be as available to some people. I understand that we have to make sacrifices sometimes, especially families that have kids to raise. But it's just me right now. I don't support anyone except myself, and I have the opportunity - so I'm taking it. 

I’m going back to this again, but we have one life - ONE LIFE - to do everything we want to do, ever. Crazy is wasting that precious time we’ve been given.

I know it'll be a struggle, but I'd rather be working towards something awesome that will make me truly happy rather than watch my time (and life) slip away. I want to do something bigger than that. I deserve to have a job that makes me happy, no matter what it is.

Yes, I could fail. Yes, I could fall flat on my face and have to get a job serving tables and working two jobs to make ends meet again. But I’ll be okay. I have a good support system of friends and family, so I know I won’t be out on the street. Even if the worst happens, I’ll still be okay.

But I don’t want to think “what’s the worst that could happen?” - I want to think “what’s the BEST that could happen?”

You know what the best that could happen is? The best is that I could be doing something that makes me truly happy. I could inspire people to change their lives too. I could do work that doesn’t even feel like work. I could have a schedule that allows me to travel, and work from anywhere. I could meet people I never would have met before. I could make a difference. I could, I can, and I will. Because I believe in it that much.

This article by the Minimalists explains things well, and this video is absolutely amazing for summing up a lot of what I just said. 

I know this is a big change, but I truly believe that this is a huge step in the right direction for me. I have always been encouraged by my family and my friends to follow my heart and dreams, and I'm doing just that.

Let the adventure begin, and cheers to new beginnings!

July - Month 7 down, 5 to go!

Earlier this month I was listening to my favorite podcast, Stuff You Should Know, They were talking about the human body, and how we're generating new cells all the time.

I learned that within 300 days, our body has replaced all the cells of our liver with new ones.

That means that by the end of this year, my liver will be brand-spankin-baby-new. I will literally be starting over. That blows my mind a little bit.

Does that mean I'll stop drinking all together? Probably not. But this piece of information has definitely made me more aware of the importance of taking a break from certain things, and allowing our bodies some time to heal.

Summertime is now in full swing in Denver, and I'm loving every second of it. My friends and I are biking everywhere again, we're going to concerts, dancing 'till the wee hours - I'm just so happy! I've certainly had a few of those "I wish I could have a drink" moments over the past month - especially because there's nothing I love more than a cold cider on a hot day. YUM.

Karaoke night, baby!!

There have also been a few instances when I've realized my desire to drink is because by 2 a.m. the entire world is drunk except me. It's not because I need it to feel comfortable, or to fit in. It's because everyone else is absolutely ridiculous by that time of the night - falling all over each other, trying to go home with someone, trying to keep their eyes open or stand upright - that it's hard to deal with completely sober.

It probably doesn't come as a surprise to you, but a lot of people are really stinkin' annoying when they're drunk.

I have to say, my friends are an exception because I love them so much. It's interesting to see how their personalities are magnified after a few drinks, and I kind of love seeing them so stripped down without anything holding them back. It makes me wonder how I would seem to a sober person's eyes when I'm tipsy.

Money saved in 7 months: approximately $1,608.00.

Experiences and happiness gained in 7 months: SO MUCH OF THE THINGS.

As always, thanks to everyone for keeping me strong! Less than a half a year to go!

Letting Go

This year I stumbled upon minimalism, because of The Minimalists, appropriately enough. I think it’s interesting that I discovered their book (Everything That Remains) during this experimental year-of-sobriety, as it has been a great ideology to accompany me on my journey.

At my favorite coffee shop with The Minimalists.

As mentioned in previous blog posts, I have already learned a lot this year. But I’ve also learned some things that have really surprised me along the way that I may not have encountered if I hadn’t also made the decision to cut out booze. Let me explain…

My coffee maker (that I’ve had for the past 15-ish years now) finally broke.

Let me clarify – the pot broke, and I can’t seem to find a pot that fits it properly to make the coffee actually brew. Instead of buying a replacement I stopped and thought: do I really NEED a coffee maker? I’m not a coffee-addict, and it has never felt like a must-have appliance. So I let it go to see how I’d do without it. I learned two things:

1. I figured out a way to make what I call a "MacGyver-pour-over" where I balance my re-useable coffee filter into a large glass measuring cup, and pour hot water over coffee grounds. I let it sit for about 5 minutes, and it works great!
2. I can still get coffee at work, or if I really want something fancy, I’ll treat myself at a local coffee shop.

My next door neighbor moved out.

Now, this doesn’t seem very life-changing of a situation. But this neighbor of mine also took away my internet connection. No, I wasn’t stealing his internet! I paid him $25 / month to share his high-speed connection, and it worked swimmingly.

Anyhoodle, this meant that my Netflix subscription was going to waste, so I canceled it. It was a sad moment when I realized I’d be missing new episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and Peaky Blinders, but I figured I’d get over it.

And – surprise, surprise – I totally did.

I know that I can get internet if I really need it, but I don’t work from home, and no new neighbor has moved in over the past month and a half so I haven’t been tempted to ask about sharing. Oh, and I don’t need TV.

It’s amazing how much time I’ve spent watching Netflix! Correction – not spent – WASTED. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think having Netflix / HBO Go / Hulu (or what have you) is inherently bad. But there’s something very wrong with the ease of letting it auto-play to the next episode, and the way that spending an hour watching your favorite show can easily turn into 6 hours of sitting on your couch and letting time (and your life) flicker away.

The more I read about minimalism and about living more deliberately, I've learned that it's about removing distractions in order to gain more from life. I’ve also realized that our time is SO VALUABLE as it’s the one thing we can never get back. It can absolutely be valuable to spend an hour or two watching a show that makes you laugh, or inspires you, or taps into your emotional core. Movies, television, and books are wonderful for those things. But as with everything in life (including health, drinking, etc.), it’s important to find balance.

Sometimes it’s not until we let go that we realize we had an imbalance in the first place.

Letting go of my coffee maker and having internet at home has helped me realize that I can not only make do without certain things, but that I can find other ways to live more mindfully and more deliberately.

If I go to the coffee shop (instead of making coffee at home), I may bump into a friend. I may share a nice conversation with a stranger. I may bring my computer and get some writing done, that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Sure, I might spend a little money – but I like spending time at coffee shops, supporting local businesses, and being around the people in my community. I’m also not spending money on booze, so there’s that.

If I avoid television, I read more books. I find ways to spend more time with my friends, rather than sitting at home on my couch. I find inspiration to work on projects, create art, go for walks, write stories, go to shows, or learn something new about myself. I find it much easier to leave my couch and go out, rather than be tempted to just “stay in and chill” – an excuse I’ve made numerous times in the past when I’ve just wanted to let the fantasy worlds of my favorite shows sweep me away so that I don’t have to “deal” with real life.

Everyone is different, and it’s important to find your own balance. But these are all really good things for me. I am glad that I’ve discovered this – all because I have allowed myself to be open to the idea of letting go. By letting go we can learn things about ourselves that we may not have before. We might even realize we can’t live without certain things – and that’s a lesson in itself.

The important thing is that this has been a lesson in mindfulness for me. I don't want to just blindly replace the coffee maker or install new internet because it’s just something to be done, because people “should” have those things.

It’s important to take that moment to stop and think: Is this still important to me? Could I see what it’s like to go without?